The hardest part of being a black student in Sweden

It’s 1 o’clock in the morning on the 20th of April. As you can probably imagine, I can’t sleep, and unfortunately, this hasn’t been an isolated event within the past week. Why? Well, everything in Sweden has slowed down a bit in the past few days for the easter holidays. That’s a good thing, right? I mean, I thought so, but no part of me would have ever imagined how difficult it has turned out to be 😣. In today’s blog, I’m going to talk about the absolute worst part of being a black international student in Sweden, loneliness 🥶.

Something that surprised me about this semester is how lonely I’ve been. I always thought that with the coming of the midnight sun, feelings of loneliness, isolation or depression would be things of the past 😞. Don’t get me wrong, it’s been much easier to regulate my mood with the sun, but unfortunately, the sun never came with the warmth of other people. The spring semester, has meant fewer classes and more travel for my classmates, leading to a lot more alone time than I had anticipated.

In recent weeks, with the help of representatives of KTH’s administration, a group of black students (me included) have been able to gather on campus in our little version of a black students’ association. We asked for this group to be formed last semester in an effort to integrate black students on campus, because of an issue particularly affecting us, isolation. We’ve touched the topic of loneliness a lot in previous blog posts, but why is loneliness particularly challenging for black students 🤔?

Limited numbers

The first time all the African students met last semester, before we had formed the association, there was a common discussion amongst the group. We kept hearing, “I didn’t even know…”, “I wish we met earlier…”, “I haven’t had anyone to help me understand…”, and the list goes on. Simply put, African students at KTH weren’t very well integrated. We couldn’t meaningfully support each other, because there was no place where we could all be together to hear about our individual experiences. The thing is, other ethnic groups have strength in numbers, where groups of people of one ethnicity could meet another group of the same. For them, it just seems easier to find somewhere to fit. The reality is, when you can’t find people who look like you, have similar cultural backgrounds or shared experiences, you begin to lose your sense of identity. It feels like something fundamental is taken from you, and, speaking from experience, you begin to feel more isolated than ever before 😥.

The money issue

This topic is a bit taboo. A lot of people think that being alone is a choice, and while it may be sometimes, I think we forget to factor in how money influences the ways we’re able to socialize. I’ve watched every person in my class travel to all types of places. Whether it be a trek through the Baltic countries, a trip to Oslo, a weekend visit to Gothenborg, skiing in Swedish Lapland, even going to Paris to meet a friend, the people in my class are always moving. With that movement, I always end up getting the question “Aren’t you coming?”, a question that always invites a few feelings for me. On the top of that list of feelings is a little sadness, some amount of confusion and honestly a little bit of anger. You see, apart from being a bit embarrassing 🙃, it’s difficult to have to keep telling people that you genuinely cannot afford to participate in all their adventures. For me, and I’ve found the same thing to be true with the other black students, the priority is paying rent, ensuring that you have something to eat, and trying to ensure that you have enough money saved to go home and see your family when the semester ends. Everything else is up in the air. For my classmates, especially the ones who live in Europe, going home can be a weekend trip to see the parents; one flight and they’re there. For some of the black students though, they may not be able to go home for the year, and for others, till the end of their entire degree. There’s just no way that a mid-semester vacation is in the cards for us 🤷🏾.

The Swedish issue

I think all international students have the same issue at KTH. In the 9 months I’ve been here, I can’t say that I’ve ever really had a meaningful interaction with the Swedish students. That sentiment doesn’t only apply to classes, but also to the university’s social scene. I always say to people how disheartening it feels to be disconnected from core parts of campus life. Student chapters are very big here in Sweden, including at KTH, but just glancing into any random chapter pub during one of their dinners, parties or other social events reveals so much. I’ve found that chapter pubs on my campus are rarely diverse. Most, if not all students involved in student chapters seem to be Swedish, or at the very least European, but rarely ever black or brown 🙁.

I can’t help but feel that Swedish students reluctantly have international ones participate in chapter pub activities. Let me give you an example. I remember one night when I went to a chapter pub on my campus with three Indian friends of mine. While we were standing in the line, my friend was finishing a can of beer she had. Now, I didn’t know that you weren’t supposed to be drinking in the line to a student pub. Apparently, that’s a rule that everyone knew about but me 🤷🏾. I have no problem with the rule, but the way it was enforced that night troubled me a bit. While standing there, a representative of the chapter pub happened to be passing by. He noticed the drink in her hand and promptly approached us. I find what happened next to be a bit unpleasant. He said, “Finish the drink or I’ll take it from you and throw it away!” We all stood there, a little shocked, but before she even had a chance to respond, the student grabbed the beer from her and walked away 😲. As he stomped back to the entrance, he extended his arm and turned the beer upside down, so it would empty as he walked, and we were all left standing there a little dumbfounded.  

Experiences like this, on top of a general lack of interaction, don’t make me feel like I’m very welcomed or respected in this university setting. Frankly, sometimes I wonder if the silence around international students, especially on the part of other Swedish students, says more than actual words 😞.

Conclusion

I know that this post might not have inspired the greatest level of confidence in prospective black students, but I want to note a few things:

• As in any post I make, this is just my experience. It could be completely different from the experience of another black student here.
• It’s very likely that what pertains at my university (which is a technical school) is different from what obtains elsewhere.
• Swedish culture, values and social norms, in my understanding, don’t make Swedes the most open people, especially to strangers. Anyone choosing to come to Sweden should adjust their expectations accordingly.
• Your personality should ultimately determine whether Sweden is the right place for you. Everybody has different needs and preferences. Make sure you’re well informed before you take your place in any new environment, and ensure that you can get what you need from it.

That’s it for today’s blog post 😊! Thank you for reading, and I can’t wait to share with you guys in the next one. Stay safe!